Dreams of Shattered Memories
by AreiaCananaid
Summary: The ninjas thought he was always like that, even in his childhood. They had no idea what made him so forbidden, like his heart had something barricaded, even when they roamed most of his feelings. Will Kai ever reveal his memories of his parent's death? What good will it do? Will he ever get rid of the hurtful memories that plague his dreams?
1. Dreams

**A/N:** This is my first Ninjago story (even though I have been watching the series since the beginning). I have noticed that there is not that many stories on what happened to Kai and Nya's parents so I wrote this. And while I was re-watching the series I noticed that Kai didn't really want friends in the beginning (I know he was bent on getting Nya but maybe the was a different reason) and he was the first one to ride the dragon and figure out they were friends, why was that? So I wrote this in 4 hours (the quickest I have ever wrote a story) listening to Merchant Prince, Ocean Princess, Everlasting, After the Fall and Nero by Two Steps From H-E-double hockey sticks (Hell).

**Summary: **The ninjas thought he was always like that, even in his childhood. They had no idea what made him so forbidden, like his heart had something barricaded, even when they roamed most of his feelings. Will Kai ever reveal his memories of his parent's death? What good will it do? Will he ever get rid of the hurtful memories that plague his dreams?

**Disclaimer:** If I owned Ninjago I wouldn't have ended the series so quickly (they might make more!) and I would have made the Final Battle 1 hour instead of 30 minutes. Did that happen? No it didn't so that means we can come to the conclusion that I do not own it.

**Please review and favorite! The reviews make me happy and they boost my self confidence (if they are nice)! If there is something you don't like or have questions about, tell me and I will change/explain/answer it for you!**

**Thank you my amazing beta reader of awesomeness! And thank you for thinking up the tittle and summary!**

How to pronounce Kai and Nya's parents: Saikar: Say-car, Kattari (this is a type of sword): Ku-tar-ee.

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**Dreams of Shattered Memories**

Kai tapped his foot impatiently on the ground for the millionth time, irritation flaring in his eyes. "Come on mom, let's go now! Nya and me did all our chores and you said when we finish we could go!"

"Yes, you and dad promised, remember?" A 9 year old girl said fervently, her eyes pleading.

"Hey I have no problem going now, I did all my chores, you have to go see if Saikar finished doing all his blacksmithing," the mother of the two rambunctious kids said.

The children were just about to scurry off to ask their dad when he came in, bumping into Kai. "I packed up early so we can go whenever," he gave a tired smile.

"Wow that was fast. Well, I need to pack some food for a picnic and we all need to wear swimsuits under our clothes so we can swim in the lake, we don't want history repeating itself," Kattari directed the last part at Kai, he just glared, knowing that there was nothing to say in his defense.

After Kai got dressed he looked in the mirror in his room. He had clean cut and fine features, he had spiky dark brown hair and big green eyes, everybody said he looked like his mother and she said he had what one would call a fair face. His sister Nya, on the other hand, resembled their father except way more feminine. She had jet black hair and hazel eyes.

The kids ran downstairs and into the stables where their dad had saddled their four mares. The two kids had named the four horses Slipstream, Blackout, Shadowflame and Nightshade. Shadowflame was their dad's horse she was speckled rowan hue shading her coat, with patches of black on her. Blackout was Nya's horse and she was a pure black Friesian from mane to hooves. Slipstream was a dappled gray beauty and she was their mom's horse. Nightshade was a black and white Gypsy Vanner, Kai had found her as a homeless colt in winter, under a dim light. And if she could Nightshade would follow him everywhere like a loyal dog.

Once they were out in the open on the path that would lead them to the mountains where they will have their picnic, Kai's horse broke into a smooth pace of galloping and yelled over his shoulder, "race you!"

"No fair Kai!" Nya called out and urged Blackout into a dash, their parents close behind.

"You have been defeated for all time, you will never rise from the ashes of your shame and humiliation!" Kai exclaimed gleefully.

"You bonehead Kai! Us girls will always rise from the ashes of our shame and humiliation, though I don't know about dad…" Nya's voice faltered as Saikar scrunched into a face that cloud clearly be read if-you-continue-that-sentence-you-will-have-your-life-to-pay.

"But you know it is true, don't you Saikar." Kattari teased.

"Ha ha very funny," Saikar said dryly.

"Come on guys we don't have all day! I want to jump off the cliff more than twice!"

"Always the impatient one Kai, I wonder where he got it from," their mother said while looking over to her husband, she was never one to let an opening for a witty quip go.

He only glared.

45 minutes past when they finally reached their destination, they hopped off their horses unsaddled them, patted them down and let them graze before unpacking all their supplies and set up their picnic. The place they were at was a ponderosa pine forest the light delicately filtered through the needles, the smell of vanilla was swarming around them. A lake was nearby the clear blue waters sparkled in the noon time sun, like a sea of diamonds. The lake backed up to a 30ft cliff, the family loves to jump off of it, but to get to the top requires every one a free climb 30ft and if you fall you land in water and have to start climbing from the beginning.

During lunch Kai slowly inched his way to his mom and poked her in the stomach and ran away as fast as his 10 years old legs could carry him, his mom gave chase.

This started with some simple revenge (for all of the family loved getting revenge), then it became a game to see how many times you could poke each other in the stomach and at the end of the day who had poked the most won a double portion of dessert.

Kattari soon caught up to her son with ease, and she started reaching out for him only Kai made himself go into a tight self-defense ball making it impossible for her to poke him. He then started rolling to the side and went into the lake. Kattari dived in after him and started to swim freestyle hoping to catch him before he started climbing the 30ft cliff.

Meanwhile, Nya and Saikar were having their own poking war, and so far they were tied.

Kai finally made it to the cliff and was already 5ft up before his mother got to the cliff. They reached the top at the same time, Kattari picked up her son and started to poke his stomach but he was wiggling too much to get more than two pokes. He finally squirmed his way out of his mom's grasp and sprinted to the edge and jumped off. While falling he remembered his mother's words, _'when jumping off a high place into water, don't flail, if you do you will get whiplash and it will hurt like the dickens. So make sure you keep strait and point you toes, if you don't point your toes your feet will slap the water and it will hurt, that position is called the Pike. When you reach the water breath out of your nose or else you will get water up it. When you are in the water point your toes to the surface, if you do this you will not go in as deep and are less likely to touch the bottom.'_

15 seconds after his head surfaced there was another splash and Kattari surfaced. The 10 year old quickly swam away to the shore, once there he was ambushed by his sister and is dad. There was no way he was going to win the double portion of dessert tonight. When his mom reached the shore she started tickling him, most people said that you wouldn't be ticklish anymore when you grew older, but not him, he was still really ticklish.

The horses' head shot up and they looked south-west, their ears went down showing that what they heard was not friendly. Kattari and Saikar stopped tickling Kai immediately and grabbed the nearest things that could be used as weapons. Kattari grabbed two 2ft sticks and Saikar grabbed a long staff that could be used as fighting stick.

2 score bandits broke out of the cover of the trees, the parents rushed in and started fighting them. Saikar called out, "Nya, Kai get to safety!"

Before Kai could argue Nya grabbed his hand pulled him into the shelter of the lake. They watched as their parents fought expertly, they already took out 20 out of the 40. It looked like their parents were going to win when Saikar accidently left his left side open for an attack he got cut deep in the side. He fell to his knees in pain, Kai couldn't stand it anymore he pulled his wrist out of Nya's grasp and ran over to his dad.

"Kai I told you to go to safety!" His dad wheezed.

"But you need help!" Kai said stubbornly, he ripped off a strip of his wet clothes and cleaned out the wound and bandaged it tightly, Saikar nodded his appreciation.

Kai got up and started to sprint back to Nya when he heard his mother yell, "NNNOOOOOOO!" He turned around just in time to see his mother jump in front of three arrows that were meant for him. Kai didn't know what came over him but all he saw was red, he grabbed a long dagger from a fallen bandit and charged the 3 bandits still alive that had shot his mother, all the training with his mom and dad paid off and he took down the archers.

"Kai come quick!" All the red disappeared as he heard Nya's voice; he dashed over to his mom.

He couldn't help it, when he saw the pool of blood that his mother was laying in he burst into tears, Nya, who was in tears also, was holding her left hand and Kattari reached her right hand over to Kai's hand, "Kai, Nya please don't cry for me, forget your grief and fears, for I will be in a perfect place, away from pain and tears. It's far away from hunger, hurt and want and pride, I will have a place in Heaven. So please don't cry for me, and remember I will always love you, never forget that," they nodded, she squeezed her children's hands one last time before she breathed her last.

"Mom please don't be gone!" Nya cried in anguish.

Slipstream had come over and nuzzled her master, as if willing her to come back and pet her. When she didn't Slipstream seemed to understand, her big brown eyes grew sad and she bowed her head. Kai felt something rub his back he turned around and saw Nightshade he jumped up and hugged her neck and wept into her fur.

Nya saw their dad struggling to get up she ran to help him, while Kai was saddling the horses, "dad we need to get you to a doctor your injured bad! I'll ride with dad."

Kai made a stretcher between Shadowflame and Slipstream and he and Nya picked up their mother's lifeless body and put her in it. Nya rode in front of her dad and let him hold on to her, and Kai lead the horses.

The journey back was hard and slow, but once they got there they called the ambulance. The doctors in the ambulance wouldn't let Kai and Nya come because they were too young, they took Kattari so they could give her body to a funeral home.

Nya and Kai waited by the phone for hours, when the phone did ring it was 3 in the morning. Kai answered it, "Hello?"

"We are sorry but Saikar didn't make it, he lost too much blood-"

He hung up before the person could finish tears streaming down his eyes Nya took one look at her brother and they both hugged each other crying. 'It's my fault that mom died, isn't it? If she didn't save me Nya would have mom,' that made him burst into a new set of tears.

They had to sell Shadowflame and Slipstream to get some money to help pay for the funeral. Then they had to sell Blackout so they could pay the off the house

"Kai do we have to go to an orphanage?" Nya asked one day.

"I will never let us go to an orphanage; we can both run the blacksmith dad taught us how."

2 years later

"Nya something is wrong with Nightshade she won't get up!" Kai called franticly, "I think she is sick!"

Nya came running in from the forge, "that's not good Kai, when a horse gets sick it's usually fatal."

"But I don't want Nightshade to die," Kai said franticly. He ran back into the stables, "Nightshade please get up!" The horse upon hearing her best friend's plea tried to get up but she couldn't. Kai stayed with her throughout the night, Nightshade cuddled up next to Kai and put her head on his chest, just like how they used to sleep when his parents died. The next morning Nightshade was no more than a dead soul, it seemed as if Nightshade had drilled a hole into his heart, a hole that would never heal, right then and there Kai promised that he would never cry or have friends other than his sister ever again.

* * *

Kai woke up with tears streaming down his face, 'I haven't had that dream in a long time. It seems as though I broke both of those promises…' He looked around the room, there was Cole on the bunk below him, his rounder features calm, his coffee-brown eyes closed, he was as sturdy like his earth element power. There was Jay on the top bunk opposite him, snoring away (he and Kai were the wiggle-worms, why they were on the top (they even fell off them numerous times)? They'll never know), he had softer features and deep blue eyes he was the most light hearted ninja.

Then there was Zane, he had sharp features and light blue eyes, the nindroid was weird, but he was nice and calm he never took offense to anything mean they said to him. These guys were his foster brothers, it seemed that they weaseled their way into his heart and filled the hole that his parents and Nightshade left and made him feel whole again. '…But I don't think I could have broken it a better way.'

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**This is the story behind Nightshade-** I had a Gypsy Vanner horse named Nightshade, and I did find her abandoned in winter by the river, I took her home (because I love animals and she was a colt and she was freezing to death) and nursed her back to health, for she was sick. She grew up to be a heathy yearling, but she wouldn't leave my side, one day I put her in the stall for bed and we locked up the house for bed, but she broke out of her stall and into the house and went all the way upstairs to be by me, it was so sweet! And my mom and dad had to padlock the door to her stall so she didn't follow me to school (she did TWICE!). But they did allow her to sleep in the house with me, so for 6 years I slept either in her stall or on the floor in my bedroom with Nightshade (how I described Kai sleeping with her). Then after 6 years of having the best time of my life something happened to her, we took her to the vet and they said that she was sick and had 3 days to live at the max. My parents allowed me to skip three days of school so I could stay by her side for three days straight then on the 3rd day she passed away, and when your best friend died it does feel like she drilled a hole in my heart, a hole that would never heal, (like she took a part of my heart with her) and since I didn't have Cole, Jay or Zane, my heart still hasn't healed fully (it has been two years since she died), and if my sister was not there I would probably be a very depressed person.

**This can be a one-shot, but if you want me to continue it please PM me or review to tell me what should happen next.**

**The poking game**- was createdmy me and my dad! I poked him in the stomach and he got revenge I got revenge and so on, then it just became a game that the whole family plays, winner get double portion of dessert! Seriously if you have a family or best friend that loves having some friendly revenge then this is the game for you!


	2. Shattered Memories

**A/N:** Thank you to all the people who reviewed they made me want to continue, and thank you my amazing beta reader for giving me the idea, I hope it is to your liking. If you have any questions feel free to ask (PM or review).

**Disclaimer:** Read the first chapter.

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Jay's consciousness snapped awake, having that usual creepy feeling of someone staring at him. One thing for sure, if you wanted to wake him up all you had to do was stare, just that simple. To wake Kai up, fast, all you had to do was play mariachi music really loud, the down side of this was that he woke up crabby and he would punch the person playing it in the face, hard, and to wake Cole up you can just take a cake and- wait... why was someone staring at him?

Jay opened his eyes and noticed that someone's foot was lying on his face, he pushed it away only realizing that it was his foot, 'Ugh... how did I even get in this position-' His thoughts were cut abruptly by a faint sniff from the opposite bunk. Alright... Jay scratched his back. is Kai sick? Well, that's not really logical, seeing that he rarely gets infected.

Has he been hiding that fact from us? That wouldn't be anything new, there was that one time when he got stabbed by a Serpentine blade and hid it from us so he would not worry us and so he could fight- Umm, I think I need to stop rambling to myself.'

Jay unfolded himself and turned to face Kai's bunk bed, and _there, _he sniffed again! Letting his curiosity get the better of him, he jumped out of his top bunk as soundlessly as he could and slowly crept his way over to Kai. He stepped on Cole's bed, careful not to wake him up, also avoiding his face, in case he was dreaming about cake.

Jay looked into Kai's big green eyes that had darker green and gold flecks in them, Jay's own dark blue eyes widened as he saw Kai's face, it looked like he had been crying, but that didn't make sense, Kai had never cried. He was one of the boldest people he knew. Zane had cried once, when he got his memories back, Cole had cried happy tears when his dad had said he was proud of him and Jay had cried, very manly tears, when- nah, he was not going to go there. Going back to the point, he had never ever seen Kai even close to crying, not even a silent tear. "Morning, Kai. You 'kay?" Jay asked, as Kai scrambled up from his bunk.

"Yeah, I just had a nightmare, it's fine," he replied, his voice slightly broken.

"Must have been some nightmare, care to tell your favorite brother?" Jay said to lighten his mood.

It worked because Kai cracked his famous, light smirk and said, "Sorry to burst your little bubble, Jay but you are not my favorite brother, and it is kind-of creepy talking to a Jay head."

"That, my friend was exceedingly rude, do you mind if I come up so you don't have to talk to the oh-so-creepy Jay head?"

"Sure," Kai sat up, leaned against the wall and patted a spot next to him, Jay climbed up and sat in the spot Kai indicated, he made his voice sound different and a little dumb sounding, "So what's the problem?"

"Jay you knucklehead, nothing's wrong."

"I bet," he answered in the same retarded voice, "that is way you found it necessary to break the record of... how many years of not crying? So what was it about? Come on you can tell me. I'm all ears."

"I just had a nightmare, I don't remember it really," he lied simply, hoping Jay wouldn't notice.

When he didn't he relaxed a little, effectively hiding the fact that he could still see his mother in a pool of her own blood, while having small talk with his firery brother. Soon Jay yawned giving a hint that he was bored, "I think I'll go back to bed, you know how early Sensei wakes us up. Night, Kai."

* * *

Cole was waiting impatiently for breakfast, it was Kai's turn to make it he made good food, but he did not cook as well as Zane. He finally came out holding a plate of freshly made French toast, "Sorry it took so long I had to go get some bread from a bakery," There was two piles he pointed to each one and said, "this one is Honey White and this one is Cinnamon Twister."

Cole noticed that Kai's voice sounded sad and his eyes held a little guilt. He scanned around the table to see if anyone else noticed, only Nya did, who broke into a frown of worry. 'I wonder what's wrong with Kai,' Cole thought, 'Is he not telling us something? Is he injured again? Did he drug the food? Did he steal my cake? Geez I am starting to sound like Jay, I am seriously questioning my mental health. Mental not to visit my therapist. Oh, here I go again.'

"Earth to Cole, I repeat earth to Cole, please reply." Cole smacked Jay's hand out of his face, though his face was smirking.

"Cut that out Jay."

"Well if you don't get food now there will be no food left for you and more for me!" Jay said jovially, his hands pretending to take all of the plates.

Cole reached over and grabbed one of each type, after he ate one he couldn't stand Kai acting like that anymore, "Kai what's wrong? You know you can tell us. We won't like, tell everyone in a megaphone."

It seemed as if Nya had already prodded him, he was a bomb ticking and when Cole asked a seemingly innocent question he exploded, "why do you think that something is wrong?! Nothing's even wrong! And if something was wrong I can deal with it myself! Gosh, what happened to you guys?"

"Kai we are your brothers, you don't have to don't have to deal with everything yourself, we can help you," Cole said wanting to know what was wrong with their hotheaded brother.

He pounded the table with a fist and said in a growl, sending a strong message of shock throughout the table. "I don't think you can this time." With that he left the room and slammed the door shut on his way out.

"I have never seen Kai acting like that before," the teenaged Lloyd said, after a minute of silence.

"I sense that Kai feels guilty of something and he feels a great deal of sadness," said Zane his light blue eyes curious hungering slightly for questions, "I wonder what he feels guilt about, Nya do you know?"

"I really don't know, he's never really said anything," she answered just as confused as the ninjas and Sensei.

"I heard him crying last night," Jay said suddenly, "he said it was a nightmare that he didn't remember; only that it was sad, but now I think he remembered everything and didn't tell me."

Everybody looked to Jay stunned, Cole had heard enough and as the leader, he is responsible to find out what was wrong with Kai. He made his way to the door and stepped out careful not to be seen.

Cole found Kai at his favorite place for when he wanted to think or be alone, on the dragon's head on the Destiny's Bounty, one of his legs dangling of the edge and the other curled up to his chest with his chin resting on his knee. Cole sat down beside him Kai turned his face away so it could not be seen, "I sorry Kai, I didn't mean to hurt your feelings, I just wanted to know what was bothering you…"

Kai faced forward and looked at the sky above them, "no Cole I should be the one apologizing, I shouldn't have exploded like that, it was really uncontrollable, but will you forgive me?" His voice wavering.

"Kai I have already forgiven you," Surprised Kai turned his tear streaked face towards Cole.

"Really?"

"Yes I have," Cole paused searching for the right words, "Kai, you can tell me so you do not have to carry this burden by yourself, that is what brothers and friends are for: they are for leaning on when you feel week, picking you up when you fall and helping to carry burdens so they are not as heavy."

Kai started crying silent tears; Cole had to admit that it was weird seeing him cry. Kai wiped his eyes with his hand and said, "it was my fault that my mom died," this time it was Cole's turn to be stunned with shock, "If I had listened to my father and stayed in the lake…" his voice faltered.

'What lake?' Cole thought, but didn't say anything so Kai could finish.

Seeing his friend's confusion he explained, "Back in my childhood, with my family, we were on a picnic when we were attacked, my dad said to stay somewhere safe, and that safe place was the lake, while he and my mom fought the two score of bandits. He got cut down and I got out of the safe spot to bind his wound, when I was running back my mom jumped in front of three arrows that were meant for me, she said that I shouldn't cry for her, but I can't help it, if I had followed the order…" his voice trailed off not wanting to say the last part.

"But your dad, you bound his wound, did you not?" Cole asked curious, he had never known what had happened to their parents for they never spoke of them, and he was not going to turn down an offer.

"I did, but it was all for nothing, he died in the hospital, he lost too much blood. Sometimes I wish that my mom didn't sacrifice her life for mine so Nya could have at least one parent instead of an annoying hotheaded overprotecting brother."

"But if your mother didn't save you we wouldn't have met you, sure you are annoying, hotheaded and overprotecting person," Kai sent him a withering glare, "but you made our little band of three feel complete, without you who would have figured out that the dragons were great pets."

At the mention of pets Kai's face became sad again, "why are you sad Kai? Flame, Rocky, Shard and Wisp came back to us as the Ultra-dragon."

"It's not that," Kai chuckled, "believe it or not my only friend, best friend actually, was a horse, she was the best friend anyone could ever ask for, she was even better than you," he jested, Cole playfully punched him in the arm, "ouch," he rubbed the spot were Cole had punched him, "I think I deserved that didn't I?"

"Yes you did," Cole answered smugly, "so what made something that neighs a better friend than me?"

Kai answered angrily, "She was not just a horse, she had a very cheeky streak, she helped me with some of my pranks, and I think that she believed herself to be a human," he laughed lightly, "Nightshade always knew when I was feeling down she was always there for me, I could tell her everything without feeling embarrassed, she was a shoulder to lean on, she was just like what you described what a friend or a brother is for. She learned how to let herself into the house so she could sleep by me," Cole snickered, this time Kai punched him in the arm. "I don't have to finish, you know."

"Okay I'll stop! I just I wish was around to see this. With a tub of popcorn and a piece of cake."

Kai rolled his eyes and continued were he left off, "And sometimes I would sleep in her stall by her, she would cuddle with me and make me feel protected," he smiled at the memory, his face turned serious again, "she helped me through the pain of losing both my parents, but like all good things it didn't last, just two years after the attack Nightshade got sick. She died during the night, this time only Nya helped me, but I didn't tell her how I really felt, I knew I had to be strong for the both of us," a tear leaked out of his green eyes.

Cole reached over and wrapped his arms around his brother, a brother not by blood but by the bond they shared, as they watched the sun rise from the East.

30 minutes earlier in the dining room

"He was crying?!" Zane asked, "why did you not speak of this earlier?"

"Because I forgot," Jay said sheepishly, "I only remembered when you said guilt and sadness because that is what his face looked like last night. I was too lazy to remember anything more."

Zane turned to Cole only to find him gone, "I think Cole went off to find Kai."

They finished breakfast and went in search of the red and black ninjas. They found them sitting on the dragon's head. Zane whispered, "They look in deep conversation, let's be as quite as we can so we can listen in without making are presence known."

They ducked down on the stairs by the prow of the ship. What they heard made them all surprised, even Nya who looked a little hurt, "Kai never spoke to me about this."

Lloyd suddenly asked, "how come he didn't need to say this to find his true potential?"

Sensei Wu thought about it a moment before saying, "I think at the time he was more obsessed with becoming the best ninja than with blaming himself for his mother death."

"Yes I believe that as well Sensei," Zane said, he paused before continuing, "I think Cole is right, when I was younger instead of a horse to lean on I had my Falcon."

Jay broke in saying, "I had my own little intentions to lean on...and…my pillow," he said the last part very quietly and dreamily, everybody barely hearing him as they listened to the conversation whispering on.

They chuckled a bit but grew silent as Zane spoke again, "but those things are not the same as you guys, I do not know what I would do without you, for you are guys are my brothers and sister and they are for leaning on when you feel week, picking you up when you fall and helping to carry burdens so they are not as heavy."

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**A/N:** Please review and tell me what you think!

If you would be so kind please tell me if you liked the end or if you want me to change it (or anything in the story), I would be happy to oblige.

**Thank you for reading Dreams of Shattered Memories, I hope you injoyed it!**


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